Off topic, but July 29 is NATIONAL CHICKEN WING DAY!

I had to put that in caps: My beloved son is addicted to crisp poultry arms drenched in pungent Texas Pete and daubed with creamy blue cheese dressing, and his mother is kind of a fan too. So we’re taking a moment to celebrate the noble wing.

Yes, this auspicious made-up holiday exists solely to encourage mass consumption and retail consumerism, but I don’t care. Christmas is tainted because it’s more about shopping than goodwill. Thanksgiving celebrates gluttony and the calm before the genocide. Even Martin Luther King Day is about mattress sales, for the love of Pete. Leave me this day to revel in the bird.

So yeah, I’m looking around Nash Vegas for wing places and, specifically, NCWD discounts. Hooters, of course, is on it: all you can eat of the boneless variety for $12.99 and two bucks more for AYCE traditional on-the-bone wings. It offers grilled, naked wings for those who are about health.

What about Buffalo Wild Wings, which has six locations in and around Nashville? A representative of its Hermitage location was not even aware of this day’s significance; the company’s website had no mention of it.

“You educated me, thanks,” he told me when I finally convinced him that National Chicken Wing Day was an actual pseudo-holiday. (Even frigging Time has an article about it! Keep up, B-Dubs!)

So, no, the big BWW will have no discounts for this occasion.

“We have specials Tuesdays and Thursdays all year long,” the chicken chain rep chirped.

Not good enough, dude, not good enough, I thought. At least you explicitly state that guns aren’t allowed in your stores. Your worth remains assured.

So, that leaves short-shorted, tight-shirted Hooters with the only local wing special I’ve found so far; if you know of any, please place them in the comments. Otherwise, I may have to endure some shake with my wings today… Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.

Then again, I may spring for full freight, now that a list of Nashville’s best wings is sitting in front of me. According to the Sun Times Network’s Nashville page, the  number one place for the delicacy is McDougal’s and Local Beer at 2115 Belcourt Ave.

McDougal’s uses only the biggest, freshest chicken fingers and wings for their chicken baskets. Their jumbo wings are never breaded and always cooked fresh. You can even mix and match their six sauces including Original Buffalo, Tearjerker, HoneyBee, Gold, Ole Smoky, Citrus Chipotle and Blue Cheese.

By the way, numero dos on Sun Times’ list is East Nashville’s Pepperfire Hot Chicken, 2821 Gallatin Pike. There are no losers on that list.

Ah, lovely Hooters Girls — no, Hooters Women. Deal or no deal, we may have to rendezvous over poultry on another day…

Off topic, but did you know celery burns more calories than it contains?


Update: It is also National Lipstick Day. I will wear a crimson pout, which should go well with the wing sauce. Do you think the Hooters Women know it’s Lipstick Day?



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